The Italian Job

Deal Score0
Deal Score0

The plan was flawless. The execution was perfect. Charlie Croker pulled off the crime of a lifetime. The one thing that, he didn’t plan on was being double-crossed. Now he wants more than the job’s payoff…he wants payback. Mark Wahlberg is electrifying as Croker in this “fast and furious action-adventure.”* Along with a drop-dead gorgeous safecracker (Charlize Theron), Croker and his team take off to re-steal the loot and end up in a pulse-pounding, pedal-to-the-metal ch… More >>

The Italian Job

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  1. Now I have to say that this film has yet to hit our shores but, in the UK, the original is such an iconic film, a film that defines the best of Brisish cinema, played most Christmas days, that the thought of a remake, let alone a foriegn remake, makes one’s blood run cold. The original is perfection…’s like trying to repaint the Mona lisa….
    Rating: 1 / 5

  2. For a limited time I am pleased to offer the following footage. Runs 100 feet, 8mm, color without sound.

    A scene of a mini car jumping a sewer; a scene of a boat chase; a scene of a dark-haired man in sunglasses getting into a sedan with a criminal air; various scenes of computer imagery produced apparently entirely with a keyboard, no mouse.

    Act now and I’ll throw in the short featurette, Blacktop Babes. For an additional $3.oo, comes with the Viewmaster reel, Coolidge, The Unknown President.
    Rating: 1 / 5

  3. I like Seth Green, and he did a fairly good job taming and personalizing an overblown character.

    The Italian scenery was entertaining.

    …And that’s where the compliments for this movie end.

    The “Italian” part of this job is just the first few minutes. So is its legitimate plot & well-filmed action. After 10 minutes, you can safely ignore– or curse at— the remainder of the film.

    This is a feature-length commercial for the small, british car that has also plagued us through product placement in Austin Powers movies.

    If product placement doesn’t interfere with a movie’s plotline, and never makes even an astute viewer think “I’ve just PAID to watch a COMMERCIAL” for even one moment, then I’m OK with it. If a character in MIB (Tommy Lee Jones, Will SMith) just happens to be wearing a cool watch or sunglasses, FINE.

    However, this… is not that. FAR from it. This is a movie that is so governed by its product placement, that it’s a complete insult to anyone who paid to watch it, even if it’s as a $1-rental-video. Plot, photography, dialogue, physics– it’s all plastic bubble-wrapping around this brick of a commercial, and it’s hurled through your window.

    We’re asked to believe that these low-slung, cramped matchbox cars are the TOOL OF CHOICE for (get this) stealing heavy gold from a California home…that just happens to have super-wide hallways and (huh ?) special rules of physics so hallway corners, doorways, and staircases are still navigable by these pathetic excuses for cars….WHILE LADEN WITH HEAVY GOLD.
    Oh yeah…and then, these selfsame cars that’re pushed at us in the house, are the TOOL OF CHOICE for racing along huge truck-wide sewers and city streets.

    No, no, NO ! Damnit, NO !
    “THe Marketing Genius of Product Placement” let his moronic intern write this movie. Murder both of them– No, their entire warped, pay-me-to-slap-you product placement agency.

    In Japan, this movie was named after the car: “Mini, mini, mini.” Doesn’t that tell you everything you need to know about the film ? Go buy a movie that works to earn its purchase price, not this ersatz car commercial.
    Rating: 1 / 5

  4. Whatever your thoughts on the original movie, last year’s The Italian Job has very little in common with it, only referencing the former once when talking about car chases. If anything, this seems to have been influenced by Ocean’s Eleven more than anything else in it’s efforts to be achingly cool. Unfortunately it just doesn’t succeed. The plot is minimal, but that’s not really the complaint given the fact that you don’t go and see this kind of film for the plot. You go to see it for the action, and here’s it’s pretty stinted and unexciting. The direction is so sloppy that virtually no tension is built up in the various heist sequences, and the beautiful Venice backdrop is barely utilised at all. More importanly, the return of the Mini chase sequence is distinctly lacklustre. In recent years both The Rock and The Bourne Identity have given us much better car chase scenes, and this one really falls flat.

    In many ways it’s a shame this isn’t any better, because its cast really is superb. If you can forget about the wooden star quality of Mark Wahlberg, then you’ve got Oscar-winner Charlize Theron and Oscar-nominee Edward Norton is supporting roles. Unfortunately both actors aren’t given nearly as much screen time as you might like, Norton’s role amounting to little more than a cameo. Contractually obliged to take the role, this is least distinguished role yet, a shame given the fact he is such an astounding talent. Anyone wanting to see him in better roles would do better to check out American History X or 25th Hour. Perhaps surprisingly, the best performances come from the minor players of the crack team. Seth Green really hits his stride here, capitalising on his Austin Powers and Buffy fame to give the few laughs the film contains. Jason Stratham is also very good, though his persona from Snatch may wear thin before too long.

    Like I said, the main problem with The Italian Job is that it’s so boring, overlong, cheesy and unexciting. There are heaps better action movies out there – Speed and True Lies spring to mind – and as far as heist movies go, Ocean’s Eleven, and even the uneven The Score, have this beat. This is bland anodyne Hollywood stuff, and it’s particularly offensive for its waste of good talent.
    Rating: 1 / 5

  5. F. Gary Gray directs a star-powered ensemble cast pitting Mark Wahlberg, Charlize Theron, Seth Green, Mos Def, and Jason Statham up against Edward Norton in a heist adventure film that is “Ocean’s Eleven” meets “The Score.” 35 million dollars in gold bars were smuggled by Wahlberg, Norton, Statham, Green, Def and Donald Sutherland. Norton turns on his crew, kills Sutherland, thinks he’s killed the others and flees to Hollywood with the loot. Why is Norton always the backstabber? Now safecracker babe Theron wants revenge on Norton for killing her father, and feels that if she joins the old team in taking the gold back from him, it will somehow ease her grievance. I liked Statham and Sutherland and sometimes Green and Mos Def. I didn’t like Wahlberg or Theron. As for Edward Norton- he doesn’t even belong in this movie. Some of the gimmicks were fun, some of the chases were fast, some of the one-liners get chuckles, but this is just a kid’s petty-thief movie. It’s pretty safe to say “Ocean’s Eleven” and “The Score” were much better films on their own.
    Rating: 2 / 5

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