Cutthroat Island

Deal Score0
Deal Score0

Product Description

Genre: Comedy
Rating: PG13
Release Date: 11-AUG-2009
Media Type:
Geena Davis (THELMA & LOUISE, BEETLEJUICE) and Matthew Modine (MARRIED TO THE MOB, FULL METAL JACKET) deliver a tidal wave of nonstop action and adventure in this swashbuckling saga of ruthless pirates, buried treasure and bloodthirsty betrayal. … More >>

Cutthroat Island

This site uses affiliate links and if you click on one and make a purchase we may receive a commission payment.

  1. Whose idea was it to have a woman play a pirate captain? Geena Davis isn’t even remotely convincing in this movie, but blaming her for this tragedy would be unfair. As this colossal casting mistake annoys the viewer all the time, it is almost impossible to judge this movie with a neutral view. The movie itself is exciting and the acting level isn’t bad. That is why

    I think it is so terribly unfortunate that they messed everything up by casting Geena Davis as Morgan. You CANNOT

    have a woman perform swordfights with 3 men at the same time! (SARR)

    Rating: 1 / 5

  2. I found this to be a mind-bogglingly stupid film. Bad acting, miscast actors, bad script, bad direction, laughable plot. If you feel an irresistable urge to see this film, just hit yourself in the forehead with a hammer. It will feel the same and you’ll save some money by not renting this garbage.
    Rating: 1 / 5

  3. “CutThroat Island” was without a doubt the worst movie i have ever seen. The actors were horrendous. It seemed as if they were reading the lines from a piece of paper during the shooting. The storyline was horrendous. There was no story. I saw this movie at my friends house. I told him about how good “Pirates of the Caribbean” and he said to watch this. That was a huge mistake. Within 2 minutes of the movie, i was thinking of excuses so that he would turn the movie off. I would rather stare at a full toilet than watch this horriffic movie.

    Where did this movie go wrong?…u may ask. It is quite simple. The whole movie was flawed. Actors sucked, plot sucked, script sucked, story sucked. They could have easily just blown up all the ships in the first five minutes of the movie and that would have made a better pirate movie.

    If i was u …i would never see this movie. They spent 92 million dollars making this movie and made only about 12 million from theaters. Hmmm….i wonder why it did so bad.
    Rating: 1 / 5

  4. Ever wonder what Geena Davis would look like as a man? Well, speculate no longer and put your imagination at ease! Watch in amazement at the miraculous spectacle as Geena Davis is repeatedly replaced by a male stunt ‘double’! And that’s not all! Stare in shock as she/he gains a good 50 pounds, as she becomes broad-shouldered and buffs up in mere moments when she becomes a he! She must have eaten a whole lot of red meat really, really fast! Yes, Geena Davis’s character’s power to turn into a man at will, or at least whenever she falls down, jumps back up, jumps from a ledge more than 3 feet up, or performs any sort of other middling feat of acrobatics or strength in this movie, is QUITE a USEFUL talent INDEED! I can hardly imagine what it would have been like if there were a gratuitous sex scene in the movie! Would he have replaced her then too? Heck, the stunt man did all the hard parts, why didn’t they just cast HIM in the movie from the very start and save some money? (I guess they had their heart set on Davis, or maybe she had something to do with its production…) Sure, he’d make a rather funny-looking woman, but he does that regardless, and considering he’s who you see half the time anyway, what harm could it do? Hey, they should get that guy to take her place in the Olympics! She’d really clean up!

    So much for trying to have the oh-so-tough female pirate warrior-for-feminism-everywhere save the day!

    Now, special effects are only made unimportant by an otherwise good movie. ‘Spaceman’ had almost no special effects, and yet it’s my second favorite of all movies. Monty Python and the Holy Grail spent almost no money on special effects, yet it’s practically seemless. The Matrix sequels I think are crud, but at least they’re visually impressive crud. This is the worst of all possibilities. As for the watchability of Cutthroat Island, I had to watch it in 3 pieces, i.e. I watched it until it ticked me off, then I came back later and stopped when I could stands no more, and again came back to finish the sucker off. Why give it 2 stars instead of one then? Well, I DID finish it, after all, and if I give THIS one star, then giving a movie like Mortal Kombat Annihilation or Scary movie one star doesn’t have as much meaning. Compared to them, this is on a whole other level for the better. ‘Nuff said.
    Rating: 2 / 5

  5. This is not really a movie. It’s a cartoon. You know: where Wily Coyote gets a 500 lb weight dropped on him or gets flattened out by steam roller and then gets up and goes on to the next episode. Okay, it’s a pirate movie, an entertainment so I wasn’t expecting “realism” or believability throughout. However, there’s a limit to the suspension of disbelief. When the stunts get too ridiculously outlandish, as in the carriage chase scene when Geena Davis goes over the awning and lands perfectly back in the driver’s seat, the movie ceases to entertain. Also ridiculous: when Mathew Modine pulls a bullet out of Geena Davis’ midsection and they immediately indulge in a bit of kissy face. It’s so over the top I began to lose interest.

    On the plus side: great scenery, lavish period costumes. A ‘fifties-era pseudo-Copeland, pseudo-Stravinsky sound track. Best performance by far is that of Frank Langella. What a great bad guy! He did a superb job. And if you like things that blow up and go ‘boom’ there’s enough to wet the most adolescent appetite.

    What else makes this one such a dud? The insipid, post-modern dialog and sarcastic one-liners, especially out the mouth of the
    insufferable Matthew Modine. Geena Davis’ not inconsiderable acting ability is obliterated by the god-awful script.

    SPOILER ALERT: In the end, when the ‘good’ pirates get the treasure and Morgan (Geena Davis) tells them they’re all rich men and can retire in luxury, they all choose to follow her in pursuing a life of piracy, bad food and all. Yeah, right! (I’d have been up for a bit of wenching and carousing, myself). But since everything that preceded it is so totally preposterous, I suppose one more stupidity doesn’t matter. And to top it off, no good sex scenes!

    Avast, mates; go to the library and check out those old Erroll Flynn flicks.
    Rating: 1 / 5

Leave a reply

Login/Register access is temporary disabled